


Marked by an Angel

by YukiRiikus_Reading_Room



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Tattoos, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room/pseuds/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wasn't one for displays of affection, but when Cas begins to doubt Dean's feelings for him, he realizes maybe its time to start showing the angel how much he means to him before he loses him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marked by an Angel

Dean had never considered himself overly sentimental.

And yet as he watched Cas walk away from him, he knew that had to change.

Cas could have just disappeared into thin air if he wanted to leave, but he hadn’t.  The person he loved most was driving him to leave, but he didn’t want to go, couldn’t bring himself to leave completely.  The action was so human, so full of pain that the angel clearly didn’t know what to do with, that even Dean knew he hadn’t been joking when he said he wondered if he was really loved or just being used.

Dean flipped out his phone, intent on calling his brother but thinking better of it.  If he wasn’t here, he was either researching or with Gabriel.  Thinking for a moment he dialed a different number, waiting with bated breath as the dial tone rang.

“Jo, its Dean.  I need your help with something… I really fucked things up with Cas.”

 _“What’d you do this time?”_ Dean didn’t bother getting defensive, he knew it was true.  Their whole relationship ran on a cycle of him screwing up and Cas fixing it or forgiving him for it.  After a grace period of a few days, maybe a week if he was lucky, he’d fucked something else up and it started over.

But Cas had never walked away from him before.

“He said he didn’t know if I loved him or if I was just sleeping with him.  Said I’m not affectionate, that I never try to show him that I love him.”  Dean said, a little embarrassed to be telling Jo all of this.  She was like his sister after all – that and he didn’t really want to hear about this later from Ellen or Ash.  “What do I do?”

_“Exactly what he wants you to – show him how much you care.”_

“I wasn’t raised the same way you were Jo, I never had parents who showed me affection.  I was on the road with Dad since I was six, and let me tell you, that man was anything but cuddly.”  Dean sighed, running a hand over his face.  Jo stayed silent on the other end of the line.  “I tell him I love him at least once a day, even in prayers when he can’t actually be with me.  I know he hears them.  Why isn’t that enough?”

_“We all want proof we’re loved Dean.  People lie; it’s just the world we live in.  He’s an angel Dean. Not a lot of their kind have any sense of human emotions, and yet he loves YOU.  He just wants to know that you love him back.  He’s vulnerable and probably scared you’ll change your mind about him.  You need to show him that you care in a way that’ll be meaningful to him.”_

“…You’re right.  Thanks Jo.”

_“What are you going to do now?”_

“No idea… but I’ll figure something out.  I have to.”  Dean said, swallowing against the lump forming in his throat.  “I don’t want to lose him.”

———————-

They hadn’t seen each other in a week. 

Cas hadn’t come back of his own accord, and Dean wasn’t about to beg if he needed space.  Besides, once he’d figured out what he could do to show the angel how much he cared, he didn’t want Cas to show up until everything was perfect.

Lying face down on the couch in front of the TV in their motel room, Dean groaned into the cushions, cursing at the pain in his back. 

“Are you alright?”

Dean looked up at where Cas now stood just out of reach beside the couch, his expression guarded but not impenetrable.  If it had been anyone else, if it had been Sam watching the angel, they wouldn’t have seen it.  But this was Dean, the person who loved him even if he didn’t always know how to show it, so he saw the look that flashed in the angel’s eyes as he knelt down beside him.  There was worry in those deep blues, and no small amount of hurt from before.

It nearly floored Dean that Cas could feel so deeply wounded and yet still come back when he could tell Dean was in pain.

“I’m fine, but I’m glad you’re here.”  Dean said, slowly reaching out a hand.  He wanted to give Cas time to pull away, if that was what he wanted, but the angel didn’t move as Dean took his hand and laced their fingers together with a smile.  “I’m sorry about before.  I didn’t realize how much it was bothering you that I don’t show you outwardly how much I love you.”

“This is all so confusing to me.”  Cas said, his carefully constructed expression breaking.  All the pain and confusion leaked into his face, Dean fighting back tears as the angel hung his head to hide his face.  “I see my brother with Sam, and how happy they are, how affectionate.  And I want that.  I asked Gabriel if he’s ever been unsure that your brother loves him, and he said he never had to be because Sam shows him every single day how much he means to him.”

“I wish there was something I could tell you to make this right, but there isn’t.”  Dean said, taking a deep breath when the angel looked up at him with surprise and hurt.  “No one ever really showed me a lot of affection growing up, not like that.  I’ve either been alone or been with Dad or Sammy my whole life.  But that’s no excuse for not giving you what you need Cas, and I’m sorry.  If you’ll be patient with me and let me try, I want to fix this.  But if you want to leave, I’ll understand.” 

“I could never leave you.”  Cas said, a small smile hovering at the corners of his mouth.  Leaning down he pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s forehead.  “Now be honest, where are you in pain?  I could feel you suffering all day.”

“I did something to my back, that’s all.  It’s no big deal, it should heal in a couple of days.”  Dean said in a tight voice, not the least bit surprised when Cas sighed and hit his arm to get him to roll over so he could unbutton his shirt.

He’d thought it was a long shot whether Cas would come or not when he felt Dean’s pain, but he’d hoped.  Just like he’d hoped that the angel would want to heal him, to take away and the discomfort.  He smiled as Cas finished undoing the last button and started to push the shirt down his shoulders.

“Before you see it, just know that I did this for you.”  Dean said, his voice tense.  Cas raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything as the shirt fell away.  He pulled Cas down into a kiss, the angel nearly starting at how gentle it was. 

As Dean moved so Cas could get a good view of his back the angel bit back a sob, reaching out a trembling hand to touch his lover’s skin.

“You did this for me?”  He asked.  Castiel had learned every inch of Dean’s skin in the months that they’d been together, his hands tracing the familiar expanse as though he’d never known it before.

“Took me all day, but I needed to do this.”  Looking over his shoulder Dean smiled, tears forming in Cas’s eyes.  “I wanted to do something for you that I knew you’d understand, something that showed you exactly how much I care.  Did… did I do okay?”

“They’re exactly right.”  Cas said, a tear sliding down his face.  He ran a hand down the length of Dean’s back, unable to stop staring.  He wasn’t sure what was harder to believe – that Dean had gotten a pair of black wings tattooed all the way down his back just to show him he cared, or that they were an exact replica of Castiel’s wings.  “I didn’t know you paid this much attention to my wings, or to me.  They’re exactly right.  How did you do that?”

“I had to draw them from memory.  After that it was just finding the right person to draw them on me.”  Dean shrugged, sitting up.  He took Cas’s face between his hands, kissing him softly.  Pressing is forehead against the angels he chuckled, his own eyes going misty.  “I’m sorry I ever made you doubt how much I loved you Cas.”

“I love you too Dean.”


End file.
